Whenever serious grownups express their curiosity about my hobbies, and I tell them I'm an ardent collector of children's books and fairy tales, I can see their previously unrelenting awe for me go down a notch or two.... thousand. Their eyes go wtf and their jaws are momentarily in desperate need of Sigourney Weaver's robo-forklift thingie. That's putting it mildly. What are they trying to say? Am I supposed to act my age?
This post is not about collecting books. (Thank you Lord, I know.) It's about why people want other people to fit in. I've been thinking about this for at least three decades and your guess is probably as good as mine. What I do know is fitting in is not my strong suit and
wanting to fit in doesn't rank high on
my bucket list. Maybe
different equals
dangerous or
difficult. Maybe the need for others to fit in tells us more about the wisher than the wishee. Black folks, well, they are supposed to like rap. Gay men like Diana Ross singing she's coming out. Straight men are not supposed to like romcoms, and they are certainly
not supposed to like fairy tales (deluxe editions or not), unless they're about Cinderella and Snow White fancying a threesome at 2 o' clock in the morning. That's the way the world works. It's plain. It's simple that way.
Oh really? We weren't made in a factory, now were we? Am I supposed to like country music because my Daddy told me to or show a healthy appreciation for something that's called
Ronggeng (what?) because a quarter of me needs to blend in? Well, Mom? Or was
Angie Dear supposed to have married an Indian guy (don't answer that)—or at least have settled for someone less
grizzled, someone less
blue? Pffffft.
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Being boxed makes me sick.
* * *
Posts
Yeah, people should simply mind their own damn business. It is just another program that has been engrained in their head by society that this should be this or that should be that. I'll do what I want and you do what you want, if they don't like it, pffft to them.
ReplyDeleteDid Mr. Blue make Mr. Cat swear?
DeleteWas this little rant of mine more true
than he could bear?
P.S. So you noticed the pffft, now did you? ;)
The cat as no need to swear he just pffft's away at his lair.
DeleteThat's funny.... I could've sworn you said damn on my beach ;)
DeleteI don't fit in.. I'm way too cool for that :)
ReplyDeleteAh... spoken like the superstar that you are, R-A-J. I admire your brutal honesty. Now tell me what I MUST do to be as cool as you.
DeleteIts a reflection of the company I keep n the blogs I follow... ;)
DeleteBut for starters, this is so uber cool: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BrAGsuOzh0M&feature=youtu.be
:)
Next time, we'll put on a show.
DeleteFitting in?
ReplyDeleteHA!!
I never have... and it's too fukken late to start now!!!
I just fear that I am somewhat predictably unpredictable...
That's a bummer... :oD
~shoes~
Fukken? I don't know that word, Shoes. You don't happen to be swearing on my beach, now are you Teach? First the Cat and now you. I'd say you fit in perfectly ;)
DeleteYeah, I think personal expectations are the birth mother of judgment. If you don't fit into someone's expectations, you are harshly judged and carefully placed into another stereotype box in that person's mind. This compartmentalizing helps people mentally cope with a big, nuanced world. You should see the looks I get when I tell people I collect human taxidermy. Allegedly.
ReplyDeleteTaxidermy. Is that a fact (allegedly)? Well, Hannibal, slip me some skin.... Yeah, I couldn't agree more, Green Pickster. 'The birthmother of judgment...' I might quote you on that. It's called a deluded sense of security. Whatever happened to thinking outside the box (or at least giving it a try)?
DeleteIt is not important to me to fit in. The older I've gotten, the less I saw it as important. I much prefer to enjoy my life!
ReplyDeleteAnd I much prefer other folks that don't fit in, too. They are far, far more interesting :)
I'm with you, Kianwi. It isn't important in the least. And when it inadvertently does happen... well, so be it. :)
DeleteI collect "children" books too. Don't every grow up. That's what makes life wonderful. To be able to be an adult (have job/pay bills/be responsible) but also have the ability to remember how to play.
ReplyDeleteI carry a teddy bear with me everywhere. It's head usually is sticking out. I don't care what people think. It has it's purpose for others and me too. It's comforting.
I even carry around children's books and read them. It is nice to go to those innocent days again.
I have never tried to conform to what people think is right or wrong for me. My dad told me a long time ago even as a child u took ur own road.
The one thing I do like about my personality/character is that I am different. A dreamer. And I think that's a good thing.
I hope ur health is holding up.
Things have been going extremely well for me.
I gaze into the pup's eyes often. U can see the love in his eyes. And I ask him "What is that u know about life? I want to be like u. Carefree. loving and living in the moment."
Have a blessed Thursday!!!
Why, thank you, Miss Stormy Marples. My Thursday has been great. Yes, I remember you once told me about you being a semi-professional dreamer. I wouldn't want it any other way. I've always been one myself. I'll never let go of my inner-child. You may have noticed. Spielberg could've been my Daddy, really. (My Mom swears he isn't...) My health is holding up. All I need is a bit of sunshine :)
Deleteoh Blue Man. i certainly wouldnt want to see you act your age. don't know what 100 year olds do but i dont think they do much ??? :p
ReplyDeletei very much prefer you collecting kiddie books and fairy tales than .....umm, doing whatever it is that 100 year olds do!
on a serious note. ppl are always judgemental. they use their moral/ cultural compass on others but i suppose that's how the world is. i know some of my acquaitances would look at me and think that at this age, i should start to have kids or whatever. yeah - annoys me but i've learnt to ignore and get on.
Mister Blue man for you, considering the fact that I'm a century old and you're only a spring chicken. :p Well, men my age wait for the postman to bring them their well-deserved newspaper, and then they play bingo with their friends until it's time to give the ol' fake teeth a rinse. Yeah, how come you don't have five kids yet? Don't you know that's normal? ;)
DeleteGood to hear from you again, Jaya J.
So Mister Blue Man :) I've got some health issues to attend to before I could have kids :p
DeleteBut nah. Five is a bit too much even for China. Maybe one for the sake of experiencing motherhood.
:)
She called me Mister... probably because I remember the civil war. :( For the sake of experiencing motherhood. Well, let's just say that's as good a reason as any other. I'm sure you'd be a hell of a mother. That's a complement :p
Deleteit is ever so adorable that you love fairy tales, Blue! Makes you special :P
ReplyDeleteSnow White and Cinderella had a threesom? With whom? Why wasn't I informed, I should be informed of such things....
PS when you don't want to fit in, you should do your best to stand out gloriously and with style :)
DeleteWith me, of course, Dazzling Dezzmeister. Hello! Well, at least before I woke up they did. I sent you an email with the dirty details, but it must've bounced. I'm thinking about having a red suit tailor made.... Will that make me stand out gloriously, you think? ;)
Deleteit will if it cracks on the bum like on Lady Gaga :P
DeleteHahahahahaha That happened to me once. That's when I swore I'd never wear Armani again. Ever. And it was a big crack too.
Deleteyou is such a tease, Blue :P
DeleteHave a great weekend, Dezzy. ;)
DeleteNo, no, black people don't like rap, Suburban white kids who hate their parents like rap. That's the new stereotype.
ReplyDeleteI've never fit in either, and I don't let it bother me, but it's kind of funny how being the jocky nerd alienates me from both groups entirely. I do mixed martial arts and I like sports, so the computer nerds are "intimidated" by me (really, can you picture ANYONE being intimidated by me?). Meanwhile, the jocky guys at the gym I train at think I'm some weirdo and can't relate to me because I'd rather talk about the latest book I read than dissecting the latest UFC bout for 2 hours straight.
Isn't it funny how I never know who's talking to me... Bryan or Brandon? Anyway, thanks for bringing me up to speed. New stereotypes are the only ones I need. Can't have enough of those.
DeleteYou could call it diversifying: not fitting in with the nerds AND not fitting in with the gym boyz... How do you do it? ;)
In my opinion people that don't fit in are more unique and thus more interesting.
ReplyDeleteAmen.
DeleteI'm not one to fit inside a box either. It's better to be unique and do your own thing!
ReplyDeleteThat's the way I see it, too! Wait... doesn't that make me... not unique? ;)
DeleteI don't know who I am. I re-invent myself every day.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
Thanks for the love, Janie. Good point you're making there. :)
DeleteI collected virtual hats in a computer game. My collection is worth around $1000 so I'm not sure if that's something to be proud of or ashamed of.
ReplyDeleteDid you say virtual hats? Never be ashamed of $1,000, DWei. Ever. Well, unless you stole them from a little old lady on her way to her best friend who needed it to pay the rent and now she can't anymore and she will be evicted and set herself on fire. Then you should be ashamed of course. ;)
DeleteLOL! Loved this post. I think it's bloody marvellous that you collect fairytales. Admirable. I love them. Plus, Randy why be like ...this.... when you can be like ***THIS*** Fitting in is for dullards.
ReplyDeleteI wont fit in
I think its bad
And those who do
Are very sad
Thanks, Jules. You're the best. (Just don't tell, Az or she'll kick my blue Ass ;) ) Collecting fairytales is, by the way, not necessarily as innocent a hobby as some would have you believe, you know. I mean, the original Little Red Riding Hood was pretty much a porn tale for the happy few. That's right. But of course I don't read those... I like your little poem :)
DeleteSee Jules, this guy Randy is a sweet talker - you can't trust a word he says.
DeleteI just know happen to know which buttons to push, is all. ;) And I mean yours haha. (Now let's see if this gives you some extra inspiration for our next post.)
DeleteOh worry not Az.. I've got him sussed! ;)
DeleteAs sussed as can be.
DeleteWell, I can't say to much considering I just bought Toy Story the other day and I have no small children at home. That movie rocks! I also watched Finding Nemo not that long ago.
ReplyDeleteToy Story with Buzz and Woody? That movie for kids? Really? Good for you. Finding Nemo.... bring me a hanky, Elsie. :)
DeleteI think it is good to surprise people. It keeps you interesting. Who likes predictable anyway?
ReplyDeleteI knew you'd say that ;)
DeleteBe who you are and don't apologize. The only need to 'fit in' is through social courtesies--you know, staying polite even if others perceive you as different, even if others aren't polite toward you. Just my opinion, anyway. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd who doesn't love fairytales?????
Sound advice, Lynda. Can't say I always succeed in staying polite, though. :)
DeleteFitting in? Like a document in a folder in Windows XP or Vista? I can't, so it would be a pretty useless exercise to even try. What's the first thing people always ask you, right after you've told them your name? That's right: where are you from? I always take great pleasure in answering, "Earth, that blue planet slightly south of Mars." You know, people just love prejudice, bias and preconceived ideas because they provide a false sense of control and security. All nonsense, obviously, but what can one do in the face of bigotry? Live well and smile, I'd say...
ReplyDeleteCheerio,
DVK
DVK... the eloquent One. Thank you for stopping by, sir - and with a smile on your face, too, I'm told. What would it be like to be just another Word document? Are you telling me you don't know? ;)
DeleteWho was it that says they never felt like a grown-up. I still don't feel responsible enough to have plant let alone kids...
ReplyDeleteMost of my plants die when I do something as outrageous as, um, look at them, so...
DeleteAw Randy, I didn't know you liked prostitution? And I've got a poem for you too:
ReplyDeleteRoses and red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Bushes are red, Trees are red... I set your garden on fire!! haha!
I must be be honest, I do my damn near best NOT to fit in. And I don't give a rats ass about anyone's opinions on me and my life either.
In all seriousness though, we were just discussing it this week, people need to learn to accept the fact that other people (including their families) are people in their own right, with their own wants, needs, desires, priorities, values etc. AND they're NOT born to be who we WANT them to be.
I like... what? (said with eyebrows 100% raised) I like what? (said eyebrows even more raised) Wait a minute... you're not pushing my buttons, now are you?
DeleteHahaha well, I hope I'm insured, you little pyromaniac. Don't set the whole place on fire yet.
Listen, Az, you shouldn't try not to fit in. The way I see it, you wouldn't be able to fit in if you tried. (That's a complement from, I quote, 'sweet talking' button pushing me.) I must've said it hundreds of times already: I wasn't born to please my parents or to listen to pencil pushers. Now repeat after me: amen.
P.S. I like what?
Well I looked up Ronggeng and the only part that stuck was some mention of its perception/association (from some) with prostitution. But then again, I should never read in the morning Randy - and might I remind you that I'm a tad blind.
DeleteAnd you're 100% right, I wouldn't fit in even if I tried. So I don't try - that's what I really meant to say. I don't try. Amen :D
Hahaha... now we both know you'll never fit in. But we love you anyway. Even if you're um different. ;)
DeleteI don't trust people who aren't a little odd.. "normal" people are usually hiding something
ReplyDeleteWell, to me that all makes perfect sense, Winopants.
Delete